Thank you for the new costumes for our choir members. How can I forget? Now our choir is the only choir in town to wear a designer’s label. We’ll be so proud to show them off this Christmas on national television. Oh yes Lord, thank you for the grand piano too. Our choir is now complete.
Dear Lord, thank you for the wonderful testimony by Mr. Moneybin about how you’ve provided a new sports car for his dear wife & a summer vacation in the Bahamas for them. I hope & pray that his wonderful testimony will inspire our fellow members in church to expect great things from you.
But Lord we do have problems. Ever since that Pastor Revival spoke at our church last month about reaching out to the neighborhood for you, some of our members have started bringing single mothers, gang bangers, ex-cons, hookers & crackheads of all sorts, to the church. This is a real headache for me.
I know, dear Lord, our members have very good intentions but these new “visitors” are upsetting the ambience of your holy sanctuary. Who knows, some of them may even be HIV positive? Last Friday, our Elder, Mr. Compromise, who is normally very tolerant of things, took up the issue with me.
Only just yesterday, the Bigbusiness family hinted to me that they will have to look for another church if these filthy people don’t stop showing up. Gracious Lord, this family is the biggest contributor to our new building fund. We cannot afford to lose them. Dear Lord, please do something.
Dear Lord, we know that you are a wonderful & gracious God, abounding in mercy & grace. I pray that in your grace & mercy that you’ll find another church for these people, somewhere else. I’m sure there’s a church out there with lots of time for people like these. Oh, the horrid smell, just to think of it.
Before I forget dear Lord, we have some outrageous complaints from some of our members that felt-needs are not met in this church. This is simply not true. How can this be? We have spent a lot of time, money & effort organizing conferences & seminars for our church members. How ungrateful!!!
If they only take the time & trouble to attend some of these conferences or seminars, all their problems will disappear. It’s so disappointing Lord that they don’t realize that I’m doing all this for their own good. Even the directors at the national church board are thrilled with our programs!!! Why can’t they?
Finally Lord, we need another $500,000 for the new stained-glass windows. The present ones just don’t look right with our newly imported carpets from Europe. I heard that some important senators are dropping by in about 4 months time. The timing is just perfect.
This visit will go “LIVE” on national TV. Dear Lord, think of the prestige this will do to your glorious name & this church. I feel so good dear Lord, I can't be wrong.
In Jesus name,
Amen & amen!
